Thankful Thursday

I am not sure who I am linking in with because I know that Leigh from Six By The Bay is passing this linky onto someone else.

Today I am thankful for being alive.  After a HUGE scare yesterday, all I can say is, I am lucky to still be here and for that I am so very grateful.

(Added at 10am - sorry for no details, I wasn't trying to be cryptic - but the jist of what happened yesterday is I veered out of my lane of traffic into a refuse truck.  I battled to get the car under control but eventually did with very little damage to the car and no damage, other than a racing heart in my throat, to me.)

TFTD : Sometimes it takes being away from someone or something for a while to realize just how much you need that person or thing in your life. (This is always brought home to me when A is away for work.)

I Don't Feel Guilty

The other night I was lying in bed and thinking about how I have changed over the past 20 odd years.  Actually, it's probably the last 10-15 yrs that I have really changed but whatever, it's been a while.  Here goes with the list of things I no longer feel guilty about :

- sleeping during the day

- running water to clean a glass and not waiting for a sink full of dishes before washing them

- chopping up veggies and not saving the tops and tails / skins to make some strange concoction, which may or may not, be of use to anyone

- not spending 1/2 hr trying to pick ever single piece of chicken off the carcass

- not believing I am late if I am only 5 mins early

- not making my bed every day

- not washing my sheets every. single. week - it's OK to wash them in a fort-night on occasions

- not opening the post every. single. day

- using the dryer because it makes more sense for me to wash in the evening when I get home from work

- buying good quality food when we can afford it

- planning me time so that I can be the best wife, mother, daughter and friend the rest of the time

- making sure I have some relaxing time most weekends - I do not have to be super busy all the time that I am not at work

- about spending money on myself/my family - we work hard and deserve to spoil ourselves at times.  I don't believe we are frivolous with our money and we don't spend money we don't have.  We save every month and I am really happy with where we are financially in our lives.

- about donating money to those less fortunate than ourselves.  I currently have some loans with Kiva - two have started repaying - it's a great way to help others.

- not doing things the way my parents did

- missing joining in with some blog linkies - I do the best I can with the time I have - sometimes I join in and sometimes I don't - it doesn't mean that I don't think of you guys every day !!

Joining in with Essentially Jess because it is Tuesday and #IBOT - why not pop over and see who else has joined in ?

What do you no longer feel guilty about ?

TFTD : Don't listen to those who tell you exactly what to do.  Listen to those who encourage you to do what you already know in your heart is right.

Things I Know

Well it's Friday which means it's the day for Things I Know except I just popped over to Miss Cinders from Saturday Morning Ogre Mum and she hasn't got her normal linky up (I'm thinking she may still be sooki about the Tim Tams having palm oil in them and her not eating them until they don't, but I could be wrong about that !!!)  (I was totally wrong - MC was on her way to visit her sister and her laptop battery went flat - and then when she got there she was too busy gabbing to worry about the linky - love ya MC !!) - so anyway, here is my list of Things I Know today because, as MC normally reminds us, we all know sh*t.

- I know that I miss A when he is away.

- I know that I have made a decision to get more involved with others so that I don't feel so alone while he is not here.  But, he is my bestest friend in the whole wide world and, while I can keep busy during the day, going to bed alone sucks big time (especially now that it is getting colder !!!)

- I know that for reasons that are totally beyond me because she is now 21 and should know better, K is a much nicer person to be around when it is just us having one on one time together and her Dad isn't around 'getting in the way' (or whatever it is that she thinks he does when he is home.)

- I know that K was really good about helping prepare and clean up after her party - much appreciated by A and myself.

- I know that we both had a great evening late night shopping last night.  Even though I couldn't find any winter tops to buy, I tried on Converse shoes (I looked like Ronald McDonald in the ones with the white in the front !!) but didn't buy any, and she got a lovely pair which, no doubt we will see when we go to watch the Suns play tomorrow.

- I know that the Suns have a really good chance of winning against the Bulldogs and making it two in a row - go guys !

 - I know that I have activities planned over the next few weekends to keep myself occupied while A is away - so much so I can't go up to visit because I am busy !!!!   After he comes home next time I will plan a weekend up with him.

- I know that I had to laugh (quietly to myself) at K the other day when she told me that she had told the lady who does the rostering at work that she 'would appreciate not being rostered to work on the weekends unless absolutely necessary as my Dad is working in Townsville and my Mom will be all by herself on the weekends.'  Clearly she thinks I am not capable of amusing myself for two days a week !!

- I know that I am going to embrace tomorrow and our tax returns because if I don't it will turn the whole day into one big chore.

- I know that I am enjoying eating good quality healthy food and how my body feels after said food.  While sometimes I miss the taste of sugary/carb foods, I don't miss how they make me feel.

- I know that I am looking forward to my appointment with my osteopath this afternoon.

- I know that I am going to leave there with a sore stomach because we always laugh so much.

- I know that I am looking forward to our twitter party tonight - 8pm AEST #vvow - feel free to join in if you aren't busy with anything else.

- I know that winter is coming - this morning it was 14° when I got out of bed this morning and I did not want to get up.

- I know that I am loving the Good Karma bracelet that Lisa from Random Acts of Zen sent to me - thank you Lovely Lady - I can't tell you how it makes me feel when I look at it and play with the pearls !

- I know that I am thoroughly enjoying the Pay It Forward Project - if you would like to be involved, please leave a comment with an e-mail address or DM me via Twitter/FB and I will send you the details.  Again, thanks to Lisa for the beautiful bells she has sent me to include in this project.

- I know that it is Friday - the best day of the working week !!!!

Have the BEST weekend that you can !

TFTD : Don't beat yourself up too much. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.

Thankful Thursday

This week my Thankful Thursday post will be the same as every other Thursday - r-a-n-d-o-m !  Linking in with Leigh from Six By The Bay for TT.

- I am thankful that we didn't run out of food or drink at K's 21st.

- I am thankful that she enjoyed herself so much.

- I am thankful that I didn't have more than one glass of Amarula and so didn't wake up with a hangover on Mother's Day.

- I am thankful for @FrancesaBlogs and @enay_teekay and the Twitter party we are having on Friday night - come and join us if you aren't doing anything else.  8pm, tomorrow night Friday 17th May, #vvow (virtual vodka or whatever) - optional viewing of Eurovision semi-finals, or anything else you may wish to view - or just be at the party.  We learned a lot from our first party hence the shortened #.

- I am thankful that A has a job and working really hard on coping while he is away.

- I am thankful for free calls between our phones so that even though we can't be together, we can talk for ages without worrying about how much it is going to cost us to pay for said phone calls.

- I am thankful that K went to work and asked if she could have weekends off (if at all possible) as 'my Dad is working away from home and my Mom will be all by herself on the weekends if I am working' !!!!! (This is the same child who thinks the world revolves around her and what she wants - the same child who can scream and yell at me because I have expectations that she will help around the house even though she pays a nominal amount of board - go figure !!)

- I am thankful for new clients who keep coming back - The Body and Feet Retreat really is doing very nicely just ticking over - not so busy that I am rushed off my feet, but enough to keep me happy.

- I am thankful for the extension that I got for our tax returns and look forward to getting them done and dusted on Saturday.  I figure if I embrace the task it may not be as horrible as I think it is going to be.

- I am thankful that today is Thursday because it means that tomorrow is Friday and, for me, the best day of the working week !

Now, if you haven't got anything else to do (because I know how much spare time everyone has - LOL) pop over to Leigh at Six By The Bay and see what everyone is thankful for today.

TFTD : The things we hate about ourselves aren't more real than the things we like about ourselves - Ellen Goodman

Are You Tired ?

Do you find that you can't get through the day without yawning your head off ?

Are you suffering from the 3pm slump ?

Do you eat carbohydrates and sugar ?

Part of this post is about what happened to me yesterday.  It is not advice in any way, shape or form - it is merely an account of what I noticed, in such a big way, that I had to share it with you.

As you may (or may not depending on how often you read this blog) be aware, it was K's 21st this weekend.  We asked her months ago what she wanted to do to celebrate the occasion and she said "Go out for dinner" which was what we had expected her to say and, despite checking a few times since then, was the plan.  Ten days ago we were trying to confirm exactly where she would like to go for dinner and she wanted to invite when suddenly it turned into a party at home on Saturday night and a family dinner on Sunday night.  And that was OK because it sort of killed two birds with one stone - Mother's Day dinner and birthday dinner all wrapped in one for K, my Mom and myself.

But then we only had less than 10 days to organise a party at home.  I will tell you right now - I don't do parties very well - in fact I suck at organising parties.  I don't have much in the way of creativity or 'seeing' what would make the place look nice so I try to shy away from them as much as possible - sometimes it isn't always possible !!!!

I managed to get a days' leave on Friday.  A flew in from Townsville on Wednesday night and on Thursday tidied up around the verandah a bit and picked up the crockery and cutlery.  On Friday K and I took turns cleaning the pavers with the Karcher and A continued to move things around and get a fence organised to keep Alfie and Rosie away from the guests.  Also managed to pull a fourth table out the hat plus arrange for my folks to buy fabric to make another centre piece as the three tables 'just didn't work they way I thought they would and four would be so much better' !!!!

It poured with rain on Friday night and we all went to bed just a little concerned about what the weather was going to do on Saturday.  We had made the 'tea lights in brown paper bags' and decorated them with ribbon and it looked like things were starting to come together - provided it didn't rain and put the candles out and wet the bags and make the sand fall out of them.  We borrowed some fairy lights from a work colleague and managed to string them up from the garage right around to the end of the verandah - just the length we needed.

Saturday went like clock work.  Balloons were picked up.  Cakes were picked up.  Dinner was collected.  We even managed to fit in a personalised visit around Metricon Stadium which was EXTREMELY interesting (even though we weren't allowed to take photos !!!) and when we got home I still had a chance to have a lie down for an hour before getting ready and the nibblies organised.

The party went off very well - everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and most importantly K had a great time - so the stress and the angst of putting it together in a short space of time was worth it.

 

Some of the cupcakes

The candles in brown paper bags (really effective at night !!!)
(I apologise for the size of this photo - I have no idea how to make it the correct size - sorry !!!)
 

 

 

The tables all set and ready for guests to arrive

 





We managed to do most of the cleaning up on Saturday night and just had to move furniture etc on Sunday morning.  We had far too much food and drinks and so had to find space to put them all - I think A will be eating meat and vegetable lasagne every week when he is home for the next I don't know how long !!!!

Anyway, while we were busy moving stuff around I had a can of coke, then I had a cup cake (they were red velvet and very delicious) and then I had another can of coke.  By midday I could not keep my eyes open or function in any way that was sensible or useful.  I lay on the couch and did not surface until just on 5pm.  I have not had sugar for quite a few weeks and clearly my body does not do well processing it.  This is the reason that I was so tired and, while I haven't been as tired lately, I didn't realise, until yesterday, just how much sugar affected how I felt. 

If you are feeling really tired - think back to what you have been eating an hour or two prior to that and see whether sugar is not doing you any favours either.  Moving forward I think it will be so much easier to say no to anything containing sugar because I hated how it  made me feel - totally out of it - unable to keep my eyes open and barely able to put one foot in front of the other.

Because it is Tuesday I am linking in with Essentially Jess for #IBOT - have the best week ever and take care !!!

This is an Invitation

to anyone wanting to join a

#vvow (virtual vodka or whatever)

party on Twitter on Friday 17th May at 8pm

(Optional TV viewing of the Eurovision Contest -

or a footy game - or nothing - whichever you prefer)

Come and join in

The More the Merrier
If you want to read more about a previous Twitter/vodka party
you can at Francesca Writes Here

TFTD :  Don’t live your life with anger and hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.

Thankful Thursday

Today is Thursday (just in case you had forgotten or didn't realise) and so I am linking in with Leigh from Six By The Bay for Thankful Thursday.

Today I am thankful for A's return from Townsville - even though it is only for four days.  With a 21st party being planned at home in three days time, his presence and support is totally needed.  While he has been away, he has been as supportive as he can be by telephone, but there is something to be said for having him, in the flesh, next to me as we race through a heap of things that need to be tidied / moved / cleaned / picked up / organised.  I know that when I get home today, huge steps will have been made forward in what needs to be done (and if it isn't, a bottle of Amarula is in the fridge waiting to console me !!!).

I am hoping to be able to take a day's leave tomorrow so that I can get the last minute things organised.

I am thankful that I have bigger clothes in the garage roof that he is going to get down for me today - and, should I find nothing suitable to wear to Palazzo Versace on Sunday night, I will spend Mother's Day looking for something !!!!!

Have the best day and thank you, once again, Leigh for hosting Thankful Thursday - in the hustle and bustle of life, it is often to easy to forget about being thankful for what we do have.

TFTD : Accept your past without regret, handle your present without hesitance, and face your future without fear.

Coconut Rough

aka Paleo Coconut Snack Bars.  Since I mentioned the coconut rough that I made in my last post, a few people have asked for the recipe so, even this is by no means a cooking/baking blog - here it is (I have listed the original quantities and then the quantity that I make (you're welcome !) - four times as much - it doesn't last long in our house and making single quantities is just a waste of time for me) :

3 TBSP coconut oil (12 TBSP)
1/4C cocoa powder (I found this to be too much so I used 1/8C for single quantity or 1/2C for x 4 quantity)
1/2C ground hazelnuts/almonds/macadamias/pecans (2C)
3/4C shredded coconut (3C)
1 TBSP honey (4TBSP)

1.  Melt coconut oil and honey over low heat
2.  Once combined, remove from heat and add cocoa powder, nuts, shredded coconut and mix well
3.  Line baking sheet with baking paper and pour mixture onto sheet.  (You can shape into individual bars - I make one big sheet of it and then just cut it up into bite size pieces.)
4.  Put baking sheet into freezer or fridge and allow to harden
5.  Cut up and try to ration them so you don't eat them all at once !!!
6.  Store in fridge otherwise they turn to a crumbly granola type mixture.

This has become a staple of my new lifestyle.  It's great to pop a piece or two before exercising - I like the fact that I can chew on the coconut and nuts for ages.

There are some fantastic recipes on this site if you are interested in paleo eating - some complicated, some quick and easy - http://www.primalprimos.com/ .  This is not a sponsored post - in fact these guys have no idea I have mentioned their website here - it's just that I have found some great recipes on here and wanted to share it with others.

Because it is Tuesday I am linking in with Essentially Jess for #IBOT - thanks again Jess for hosting such a great linky !!

TFTD : Good things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it.

Things I Know

Yippee - it's Friday again - my most favourite day of the week because it means that tonight is the start of the weekend and I LOVE the weekend, for lots of reasons that I won't go into now.  What I will do now is join in with Miss Cinders from Saturday Morning Orge Mom for the easiest linky in blogland, because, as we all know, and we are reminded by MC, we all know sh*t.

- I know that I have found the yummiest paleo recipe for coconut rough - I made it last week before we went away and it was delicious (even when I had to scoff it down with a spoon because I forgot to put it in the fridge).  On Sunday night, I made some more - four times as much as what we had made previously !  Sadly, it hasn't lastest four times as long - it's just meant that I haven't cooked dinner for the last two nights and eaten copious amounts a few pieces of coconut rough instead !!

- I know that I am about to write to some place (I don't know what they are called but I do have an address for them - oooh just seen an ABN so I can look up the company name) because I filled in a survey (with a few untruths because I don't drink wine) in order to receive two travel coffee mugs (yes, I don't drink tea or coffee but they looked so nice and were the only reason I completed the survey in the first place) in February and still haven't received my travel coffee cups.

- I know that A works for a sucky company who couldn't organise a p*ss up in a brewery and that they have pushed the realms of my flexibility to the limit. 

- I know that I don't like sleeping alone.

- I know that sometimes the silence is deafening.

- I know that I am happy that we sent out the invitations for K's party last night.  I know that sometimes she is has no sense of practicality - ordering party invitations from a company in England when you want people to RSVP by next Wednesday is probably not the best decision.  Free online invitations is what we are looking for Love !!!!

- I know that thanks to eVite we found them, sent them off and have had more than half the people reply already !

- I know that this means that the party is going to go ahead which means I am going to have to get my sh*t together very quickly.

- I know that I have a wonderful family who have all offered to help - if only K would make up her mind about what she wants !!!!!!!

- I know Mrs Flannery's has a 15% discount on heaps of stuff in store tomorrow so after my client and before catching up with my friend, I will be making a stop there to stock up on what I think I need for the next month.

- I know that my visit to the dentist yesterday turned out to be not nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be - this is one area where I find it really difficult not to expect the worst (maybe now that I am going for regular check-ups because he is so nice and so gentle, the worst won't happen).

- I know that I am loving the weather at the moment - the days are just beautiful and the nights are nice and cool - ideal for snuggling under the doona.

Wishing you all the best weekend ever !

What do you know today ?

 



TFTD : It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves - Edmund Hillary

This Moment In Time

This morning I read Miss Cinders from Saturday Morning Ogre Mum and it really made me think about exactly where I am at this moment, so, while she has committed to make this a weekly post, I have said I will try for fortnightly, monthly or whenever I remember !!

Thinking about – whyI can't get the tax accounts to balance - they shouldn't be this hard.

Feeling - sad because I have had about 2-3 really good weeks where I have felt like I am coping so well.  Yesterday it felt like it all came crashing down on me.  I don't know if it was because we had such a great weekend or knowing that, sometime soon, A will be leaving for Townsville.

Watching - my weight on the scales daily and trying not to get despondent because the scales aren't  moving despite having cut out sugar, wheat and dairy.  I know it is due to the medication that I am taking that I am slowly weaning myself off, except for the next two weeks I have said I will continue with the same dosage as it looks like we may be having a 21st party for K after all and, with less than two weeks until D-Day, and A away (and, at this stage, we don't even know if he will be able to come home for her birthday) I don't think I can be cutting down without sending myself over the edge.

Making me happy - that the whole menopause thing seems to be coming under control.  Tackling one problem at a time was certainly the right way to go about it.

Listening to – I would be listening to meditation CD's if I had a CD player that worked

Reading – Bridget Jones' Diary - a light, entertaining read that I took away with me on the weekend but didn't get to finish while we were away

Eating – new paleo recipes that I have found that are so yummy - why did I not do this sooner ?

Following – GC Suns as they continue on their journey, hopefully with more wins this year.

Looking forward to - 13th May when the 21st will be over.

Outraged by - the deficite that the government is now declaring.

Planning for – a rushed 21st party.

Waiting for – to hear exactly when A is leaving for Townsville.  I am trying so hard to be flexible about this, and I know it isn't his fault, but honestly, they couldn't organise a p*ss up in a brewery if their lives depended on it.  He has already been up there last week for 3 days.  He came home because they had authorised his leave before they decided to send him up there.  He was supposed to go back yesterday - the ute which was supposed to be ready on Friday wasn't ready yesterday - it's supposed to be ready today - and, depending on what time it is ready (IF it is ready) will determine whether he leaves today or tomorrow, or if the ute isn't ready today, then who knows when he will leave.  In the meantime the work up there is piling up and he is fluffing around with stuff down here.  His boss is away until lunch time today (on a boat cruise) so isn't contactable to find out, if he goes to Townsville now, can we fly him home on 9th and then back on 13th - so the longer we have to wait on that answer the more expensive the tickets are getting.  I don't do patience very well and this is no exception !!!!!

And, because it is Tuesday, I'm linking in with Essentially Jess for #IBOT.

TFTD : One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and that’s OK.

I Must Confess ................

Today I am linking in with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess ............. because I can !

I have had my share of hair disasters !!  I have absolutely straight hair and, for many years, I would have killed  done almost anything to have curls.  So much so I did - I had perms - home perms - enough said !!!  Then I had the peanut perm - again, enough said. (Just found a pic of me with short hair - probably one of my not so bad hair styles !!!!)

But, today I want to confess, that I do like to go away for a weekend - especially a long weekend.

Back in the good old days before we all moved to Australia, BIL and SIL and A and myself went away for a couple of weekends sans children.  We would find a place about half way between where the two families lived and meet up there.  Invariably, there would be lots of laughs, a fair amount of drinking, a small bonfire or three and a great time was had by all.

Of late A and I have been making a concerted effort to get away for a weekend every 3-4 months - to be able to reconnect and be together without the distractions of a 20yo (yes they can be very distracting at times !!!), house work that needs to be done, stuff in the garden that needs to be done and the day to day grind.

After our last weekend away (when we got stuck in Stanthorpe due to the floods), they said we should go away together again.  And so the idea was hatched.  Decisions needed to be made about whether we were going to go up the coast, down the coast or inland.  We finally settled on Lennox Head because we found a good deal for accommodation there.  We all put in for leave for Friday as Thursday was ANZAC Day and a public holiday over here.

We had such a great break. I cannot believe how quickly those 4 days went.  We talked, we laughed, we went for walks along the beach, the girls chatted, the guys chatted and sometimes we chatted with our significant other away from everyone, we ate, we laughed some more, we drank (not nearly as much as we used to !!), we watched Suns beat GWS, and SIL and I had a massage and facial special that we found at a local spa.

We ate at some amazing restaurants / cafes - and I found some really good gluten free bread at the local IGA that I think I may be able to get up here.  I had packed a heap of snacks for me so that I didn't get caught short being out and about and not having anything to eat and it worked out really well - I didn't feel like I was denying myself when everyone else was eating - it made all the difference to the weekend for me.

Yesterday we packed up and went to the Bangalow Markets on our way home and had a great wander around there.  I found a stall that sold dairy free, gluten free and sugar free goodies - it was very exciting buying one of a few things and then getting home yesterday to have a taste and see which I liked (for the record - chocolate and avo cake is to die for, chocolate and beetroot cake, not so much - I think maybe if the beetroot had been grated a little finer it would have been nicer).

We all had such a great time that it looks like this may become a twice-yearly outing for us.

Do you go on holiday / away for mini-breaks with your family ?

 

TFTD : Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated.  You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps - David Lloyd George

Paleo ................... A Lifestyle Change

On Monday 8th April, I was told that if I didn't change my lifestyle, there is an excellent chance that I will be diabetic in 5-10 years time.  Understanding that diabetes is the pre-cursor to many major illnesses, it left me with no choice but to make the change.

I have done a paleo kind of diet before so it wasn't completely new to me EXCEPT this time I wasn't cutting corners like I did the last time.  There were occasions when we went out and I had pizza (wheat and dairy), there were times we went out and I had muffins / pancakes / chocolates / grainwaves (wheat and sugar) - because, at the end of the day life was worth living and who wants to deny themselves everything all of the time ?  I certainly didn't want to deny myself all the time and I was happy to make the occasional compromise.

Now I am faced with the challenge of - how many compromises are OK ?  Is one a day OK ?  Is one a week OK ?  Is a wedding / birthday / celebration OK ?  Since 8th April - I have cut out soft drinks completely - I have been drinking water, veggie juice, V8 fruit juice (1/2 glass a day max) and soda water with a dash of lime in it.  I went from probably 2-3L of coke a day, to nothing - and that was fine - I ate carrot sticks and gluten free dairy free dip.  On Saturday I felt like a coke.  I would have given my first born  right ovary (without anaesthetic) for a coke.  I wanted it so badly I could taste it.  On Sunday I would have given both my ovaries for a coke - but I didn't.  I had the bloody veggie juice and I sucked it up.

Sunday afternoon A left for Townsville.  We have known for quite a while that he was going to have to travel we just didn't know when.  A few weeks ago I doubt I would have been able to get through the day without him here but I am feeling so much stronger in myself that I know that I will be fine.  I miss him dreadfully but I know that he has to do this and there is nothing I can do except accept that he is away and get on with what I need to do.

Tonight I got home from work and was watching TV when K got home.  We had dinner and she fell asleep on the couch next to me.  I wanted that bloody coke so badly again.  I had some more veggie juice instead.  I got up from the couch, had a shower and eventually got that coke out of the fridge and in three glugs, it was gone.  And I thoroughly enjoyed every single drop of it.  Will that increase my risk of diabetes ?  I honestly don't know.  Can I stop at one ?  Bloody oath I can - because if I don't one becomes two becomes more than a few and the slippery slope appears out of nowhere.

My eating has been great.  I am finding it difficult when we are out to find suitable food to eat but I think that may just be a learning thing for me.  I made some lovely apple and macadamia biscuits last week.  K and I made more on Sunday as well as some apple and cinnamon biscuits and some banana and pecan muffins.  While there is no sugar in these, they do provide great 'sweet' snacks - something that I do miss.  Some people suggested first cutting out wheat and then dairy and then sugar but I found it easier to just cut it all out together - sort of like pulling the plaster off in one quick swipe instead of slowly pulling it off.  It has meant that I have had to be more prepared with my meals - I have to make sure that I cook enough at night so that there are enough for left overs another night as well as enough for me to take for lunch as well.  Sometimes I battle with having protein at every meal.  The only way I can do it at breakfast is with protein powder in my smoothie.  I do miss having toast for breakfast or with fresh bread with soup - there is nothing nicer than hot toast with squished up avo and a dash of salt for breakfast - unless it is a fruit smoothie made with coconut milk, fruit, egg and protein powder - because that is  my reality now and I am embracing it and enjoying it.

This coming weekend is going to provide a big challenge for me from a food point of view - we are going away with BIL and SIL.  They both understand the situation I am in and A, being so supportive, will do his best to make sure that we go to places where I can find things to eat.  I have my trusty Paleo app on my phone that I can pull out in emergencies to find out exactly whether I can or can't eat something.  If the worst comes to the worst, I can get a plate of steamed veggies and tuck into the biltong (like jerky only 1000 times better !!!) that I am supposed to be making while A is away !!!

When we realised that he was going to be away until the night before we left, I went into a bit of a panic because I had asked him to make biltong for us to take away with us.  He already had it marinading in the fridge but he knew that there was no ways I would hang it, so he hung it before he left with strict instructions about when I was to switch the light on (at night) and off (in the morning) so that it kept the drying process going through the night.  First night he is away - I think to myself "I'm sure he said that it was OK for tonight to switch the light on tomorrow night because he only switched the light off before he left for the airport at 2.30" - so I didn't switch it on.  I called him when I was on my way home and he asks "You must have remembered to switch the light off this morning because I called K to say good morning and asked her to check and she said that the light was off."  "Uhmmmm - no - I didn't put it on last night - I thought you said it was OK to leave until tonight."  Clearly that wasn't right.  So I told him I would switch it on as soon as I got home - for pete's sake I have to walk right past it in the garage to get to the house !!!!  Well, I forgot - completely - until at about 8.30pm K said "Hey Mom - do you think we can have some biltong with dinner ?" - The words "Bugger Poo Bum" (or quite possibly something a little stronger) came out my mouth as I dashed as fast as my chubby legs would carry me to the garage to switch the bloody biltong box light on !!!  Geez, I hope I remember to switch it off tomorrow.  That biltong probably has no idea of what is going on - if it turns out to be any good it will be in spite of everything I have done and not because of everything I have (or haven't) done !!!!

On Sunday night I went for a walk that was probably about 1km long - don't know how long it took me but I was happy that I felt HEAPS better than I did the last time I walked with Al last week.  Maybe things are starting to turn the corner for me.

I have also been reading a book called "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers.  I can't tell you what a great book it is although, for me, it is one that I am going to have to read a couple of times as I find I get a little over whelmed sometimes with all the information in there.  I really think it will make a difference to how I move forward in life - more positive and looking for solutions instead of problems.  She talks about a no lose model - the one where, no matter which decision you make, it is the right one for you, that there are things you learn along the way that you will need for later in life, or to introduce you to different situations / people.  I really want to start living like this - stop second guessing decisions that I have made and learn from every situation that I am in.

And, because it is Tuesday, I am joining in with Essentially Jess for #IBOT.

Have you linked in with Jess today ?

TFTD : You're not a failure if you don't make it, you're a success because you try - Susan Jeffers

Things I Know

YAY - it's Friday (I ALWAYS know when it's Friday !!) which means that it is time to link up with Miss Cinders from Saturday Morning Ogre Mum because, as I never fail to remind you because MC never fails to remind me, we all know sh*t !!

- I know that I am so happy for our Polish friends who, finally, have been granted permanent residency.

- I know that I am sad that A has to go to Townsville for work on Sunday night.

- I know that I am happy he will be home on Wednesday night because we are going away for the long weekend.

- I know that when we get back from the weekend away, he will be going away for a long time but that is OK because I know that I am strong enough to cope with everything while he is gone.

- I think I have turned a corner health wise.  The 0.9kg that I was so pleased about losing last week has found it's way back plus more which I just find so bloody strange given I have had no sugar, no dairy and only a smidgen of cornflour since Tuesday of last week BUT I am going to keep on with it because I know that it is the right thing for my body right now - just now my body will realise it and do what it is supposed to do which is, lose this bloody weight !!!!

- I know that I wanted to get my Ranty McRanty pants on today but have decided to keep that for another day.

- I know that I am happy that I finally made my choices for loans through Kiva.  I realised that while I was fluffing around about how to decide who to support, my money wasn't helping anyone.  So I took the plunge with a lady from El Salvador and one from Ecuador.  Since last night the lady from Ecuador has received 100% of her funding and the other lady has moved to 60%.  I am really excited about following the journey that these ladies take - I think I can follow it sort of on Kiva (but I may be completely wrong about that - will have to see !!!)

- I know that I am loving the Yumi's dips - gluten free and dairy free - they are my new favourite snacks.  The kalamata olive and sweet potatoe/cashews are excellent with carrot sticks.

- I know that making sweet potato crisps is more time consuming and fiddly than I expected and, I am not so sure that it is cost effective, but they are tastier than store bought ones.

- I know that, while my health is not all that great at the moment, things could be so much worse.  I know that, for me, right now, life is good and I am happy.

- I know that love my TFTD today because it is so very, very true.

Have the best Friday and an even better weekend !

TFTD :  If you don’t work and fight for what you want, don’t complain and cry over what you've lost.

Thankful Thursday

I wanted this post to be something different to normal Thankful Thursday post that I write but honestly, my brain just won't function this late in the day !!!

Joining in with Leigh from Six By The Bay - and in no particular order :

- I am thankful that the bomb that went off at the Boston Marathon did not do more damage.  While I am not in any way, shape or form condoning what they did or diminishing the fact that three innocent people lost their lives and countless others have had their lives irrevocably changed in one of the most tragic ways, but, the damage could have been so much worse.  Having lived in South Africa for over 30 years, I lived through bomb blasts being an almost weekly occurrence.  What they would do is have a smaller bomb go off first, then when police/ambulance/rescuers were on the scene, a bigger bomb would be detonated thereby killing and maiming even more people.

- I am thankful that I have such supportive friends - both on line and IRL.  I have been absolutely amazed at the support that I have received over the past couple of months and I can't say enough times how thankful I am.

- I am thankful for Twitter - where any question that I ask will garner an answer.  Sometimes it is just the reassurance that I need.

- I am thankful for being financially stable so that as we need to change our spending habits to accommodate the new needs as a result of the change in our lifestyle, we can do that.  (And, if I have jinxed our position with this thankfulness I will be more than a little miserable at the universe)

- I am EXTREMELY thankful that the twice that I nodded off in the car while driving back from a board meeting at Richlands, did not result in any accident.  I would never have forgiven myself if I had had an accident because I was driving while I was tired.

- I am thankful that I am learning to be kind to myself and be patient with my body - these are not things that are going to change over-night and I need to allow them to take the time they need.

- I am thankful that I have learnt the art of being flexible - I didn't used to be flexible - in fact, I was very inflexible and planned.  I didn't 'do' spontaneous.  I didn't 'do' changes.  Now I do.  Now I can be spontaneous and flexible, and I am comfortable with that, which is great because in the last 24 hrs we have gone from A being sent to Cairns this morning - to him not going because the ute he has won't make it - to him flying there today - to him staying at home - to him going to Townsville.  So, at this point I really don't know where he is going or when he is leaving - and that is OK because I know that, while I will miss him when he isn't there, I will manage.  I will keep doing what I need to do and it will all be good because I am stronger than I thought I was.

What are you thankful for today ?

Have the best Thurday possible !

TFTD :  Life is about learning from the past, trusting your intuition going forward, taking chances, finding happiness, and realizing everything happens for a reason.

Is This It .............. For Now ?

On Friday I finally got a phone call from the naturopath at Mrs Flannery's to say that the adrenal support could be taken in conjunction with the anti-depressant I am on.  So I stopped off and picked them up and started to take them.  I also picked up the herbal tablets that my folks brought back from South Africa that helped my sister when she was going through menopause and started taking those.

I had lost 0.9kg between Tuesday and Saturday - and that was good - it was the start of the new lifestyle and there was some indication that it was doing what it was supposed to do (to a certain extent) - losing weight as well as living a healthier lifestyle.  This morning I was up 0.4kg - totally don't understand that as I have stuck 100% to the no wheat, no dairy, no sugar eating plan - but, that is OK - I am sure that in the end the weight will move and, while this is about losing weight, it is mainly about getting my body as healthy as I can, as I get older.

I can't say I feel any better yet - I can't say that I am less tired - I can't say that I feel any different to how I felt last week, but I have to believe that if I continue to feed my body with good quality, healthy food, I have to see the results as some point in the future.

Now - the crux of this post - we had some unexpected free time when we got home from work last night and A had suggested earlier in the day that we go for a walk.  I certainly didn't feel up to walking anywhere other than to my bedroom but I got home and felt bad about not doing anything for so long, so agreed we would go for a walk BUT only as far as BIL and then back.  We got changed and left.  Never before has A walked faster than me.  Never before has A had to slow down so I could catch up to him.  Never before have I walked 1.4km and felt so buggered.  Never before have I walked 1.4km and got home, curled up on the couch and slept for a couple of hours.  So my question is this - is this it for me ?  Is this my exercise regime totally out the window now ?  Is this a short term set back ?  Is this me being too hard on myself and not making allowances for the adrenal fatigue / hypoglycemia ?  Is this me making excuses for why I am not exercising ? 

I was supposed to do the 5km Color Run on Sunday which was cancelled due to the cr*ppy weather on Saturday - I wasn't expecting to run the 5km but after my pathetic attempt at a walk last night, I very much doubt I would have even made the 5km on Sunday. 

Is this what it has come down to for me, for now ?  Battling to walk 1.4km after being able to run (albeit slower than I would have liked but given the situation not much I could do about it) 10km not even a month ago ? 

Is this where I have to work really hard on being kind to myself and just let go with whatever is happening until I can get back some control over how I feel and what I can accomplish ?

What do you think ?

And, because it is Tuesday it is time to link up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT.

TFTD :  A bad attitude is like a flat tyre, you can't go anywhere until you change it.

Not A Clue

I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what I am doing.  In reality I am trying to link up to Bloglovin' but I don't think that what I am doing is anything like it is supposed to be.  Please be patient while I find someone to help me !!!

Have the best weekend possible !

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